Some 9-1-1 (not the date) humor

[YellowJacket!]

BELIEVE it or not ,
> These are Nashville , TN 's REAL 911 Calls!
>
>
> Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
> Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
> Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
> Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
>
>
> Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
> Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
> Dispatcher : Excuse me?
> Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
> Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
> Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
>
>
> Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
> Caller: I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
> Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
> Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
> Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
> Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
>
> My Personal Favorite!!!
> Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
> Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
> Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
> Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
>
> And the winner is..........
>
> Dispatcher: 9-1-1
> Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn.....I think I'm going to pass out.
> Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
> Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
> Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
> Caller: N o
> Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
> Caller: Running from the Police