Blonde jokes..........no offense.....;)

[vadasz1]

Okay -- some of these will make you laugh ~~



Silence is golden but duct tape is silver...


 

Hellloooooo- being blonde

Two blondes living in Oklahoma  were sitting on a bench talking, and

one  blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida

or the moon?"   

The other blonde turns & says "Hellooooooo, can you see Florida ???"






T-SHIRT 

A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt.
'Why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?'
'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious t-shirt. I thought

it meant 'Tits Go In Front.''







   

CAR TROUBLE 

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" 

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"







   

SPEEDING TICKET 

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he

could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just

yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show

it to you!"   










 

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another

blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to

the other side?"   

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,

"You  ARE on the other side."







   

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her

body hurt wherever she touched it.



"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."   

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then

she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and

screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she

touched made her scream. 

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? 

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde..."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." 







   

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the

wheel was knitting!   

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper

cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"






   

BLONDE ON THE SUN 

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian

said, "We were the first in space!" 

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"   

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" 

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 

"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" 







   

IN A VACUUM 

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled

the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you

are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"   

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" 







   

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! 

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,

and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying

that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.   Her friend said,

"Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"   

"HELLLOOOOOOO," answered the blond.  "They're watch dogs!"

[YellowJacket!]

LOL...  I like the redhead/broken finger one!

David