Menopause

[ps2/bikevision]

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE (or PMS) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?  Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the ! #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the p ast 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!  AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!!  BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!  IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT TH E ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!
   
I'm sorry. What was the question?

[Brian Moffet]

According to my boss, she's going through that right now.

Brian (TMI!!! REALLY, TMI!!!!)

[inanecathode]

I actually lol'd

[hfarley]

I can say from experience that pregnancy hormones are very similar to that sometimes. LOL! I sat there the other day and screamed at my husband for leaving one square of toilet paper on the roll instead of changing it. According to him there technically was still paper there so it did not need to be changed. Then I proceeded to cry for a half an hour because I had yelled at him for such a stupid thing. Then I sat down, ate an ice pop and proceeded to laugh my butt off with my husband at how stupid my hormones are right now. Talk about a roller coaster ride. LOL!
-Heather

[ps2/bikevision]

yea heather i know  what thats like. my ex. well can you still call someone your ex after 5 years.  anyway, she had some bad mood swings. and she wasent pregnet or anything. just that time of the month. one such argument was over a sock that didnt quite make it all the way into the hamper. 3 hours she went on about it. it got so bad the neighbors called to tell us to shut the hell up. she answerd the phone, which made it worse. she started going off on the neighbor over the phone. then went out in the hall and started yelling at her through the door. the neighbor wouldnt open the door and called the cops.   that made her go off even more. i was really suprised she didnt go to jail. she was about to then she started crying and they let her off. after the first 20 min. i just started laughing. which didnt help, but it was so stupid. all over a freakin sock.

thats why im still single. everytime i start to get into a relationship, i remember what hell the last one was and run like the wind. when i got this email i just had to share it. :D its just too true.

[YellowJacket!]

Got this one today:
To be six again
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife  turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.  Since her  birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her  Birthday.  I'd like to besix again, she replied, still looking in the  mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big  bowl
of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.  What a  day !
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of  Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster.... everything there was.
Five  hours later they staggered out of the theme park.  Her head was
reeling and  her stomach felt upside down.  He then took her to a McDonald's
where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.  Then  it was off to a movie, popcorn, a
soda pop, and her favorite candy,  M&M's.  What a fabulous adventure !
Finally she wobbled home with  her husband and collapsed into bed
exhausted. He leaned over his wife with  a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear,
what was it like being six again ?  ?  Her eyes slowly opened and her
expression suddenly changed.

I  meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass!!

The moral of the story: Even when a  man is listening, he is going to get
it
wrong.

[dj]

Good one Dave.  Men can never win.  I've been married for almost 8 years now and I learned the Yes Dear saying about 3 months into the marriage.  Saves me a lot of headaches to just do most of the things her way.  Unless it is a problem with the vehicles, computer, or something is broken in the house.  Then I tune her out and do it the right way.  I get yelled at for not listening to her the whole time I am working, but when I am done she always says "thank you". ::)