So I was at the bar the other night and heard three girls with an overabundance of flesh, talking at the bar.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland ?"
One of them screeched, "It's WALES , you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied: "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland ?"
And...that's the last thing I remember....
Pete (Zebulon)
It's probably not PC to have a chuckle at the expense of the rubenesque but I did anyway... :)
The ambiguous compliment:
She's a whale of a girl.
"How could such a fat woman get pregnant?" ejaculated Tom inconceivably.
and continuing with motorcycle flavour:
"My girlfriend fell off the back of the motorcycle" said Tom ruthlessly.
"The tread on the back is shot" said Tom tirelessly.
and one politically incorrect:
"I can't seem to find a boyfriend" lisped Tom fruitlessly.
Some years ago I was in a restaurant and observed 2 gentlemen , dressed in tweed, talking. I could not recognise the language , so , I asked them where they were from. It turns out that the were 2 Scots speaking French!!! True story!!
Quote from: Rick G on February 03, 2013, 07:29:48 PM
Some years ago I was in a restraint and observed 2 gentlemen....
what sort of a restraint? like a jail or a straight jacket type of restraint?
I wondered too, likely restaurant. You seldom see gentlemen when being restrained. BDC
I'll have to pay more attention to what the spell checker comes up with! It was restaurant , indeed!
Another night in a pub.....
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked okay for a 57-year-old.
We drank a bit, and talked awhile, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.
"What's that?" I asked.
"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.
I said, "No."
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.
We went back to her place.
She flipped on the hall light and then shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"