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Just a few ideas

Started by ps2/bikevision, May 16, 2010, 05:32:06 PM

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ps2/bikevision

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person
died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when
you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of
the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want
to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I
want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not
make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail.
What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer
when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday
night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly
realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2
trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a
text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you
can wear them forever.

28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know
what time it is.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a
pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'll
bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7
seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

30. My check engine light has been on for three months now and nothing's
happened. I'm starting to think that my car is just an attention whore.

31. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have
fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when
they've invented the lighter?

32. Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a
good memory apparently equates to creepiness.

33. My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."

34. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear
is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

35. My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster.

36. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

37. I wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, "Excuse me, would
you like me to show you how to discipline your child?"

38. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on
Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their
stadium afterwards?

39. Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should
be called Diet Oreos.

Lucky

Good god, you had me laughing so hard I have the whole family laghing in tears, the wifes mascara is smered, the kids pissed their pants & the dog has a worried look on her face!  :D :D :'( :'( :laugh:

Dave, You haven't got a chance!!!  ;D ;D ;D

--Lucky
1982/3 XZ550 Touring Vison, Gold on Black

Re-Vision

I copied and sent it to all my friends, love new humor.   BDC

YellowJacket!

Quote from: Lucky on May 16, 2010, 08:22:06 PM
Good god, you had me laughing so hard I have the whole family laghing in tears, the wifes mascara is smered, the kids pissed their pants & the dog has a worried look on her face!  :D :D :'( :'( :laugh:

Dave, You haven't got a chance!!!  ;D ;D ;D

--Lucky

Heh heh heh....  I put the coffee down before I got past #5.  Glad I did.  I'll second the crumb tray on the keyboard. Thats really a great idea.

David


Living the dream - I am now a Physician Assistant!!   :-)

supervision

 number 2 is my favorite.  Here's a Frank Zappa saying,  "minds are like parachutes, useless until opened"
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starfire

#37 about 1,000,000,000 times this week and its just Monday :o
mom said visions are like a box of chocolate's you never know how far your going to get

Lucky

i'll throw in 2 of my own:

1: a man has a rule of thumb when it comes to microwave cooking:  "when it explodes, it's done"
&
2: (& my favorite):
Squeekers for brest implants! :) :)
1982/3 XZ550 Touring Vison, Gold on Black