Lab test results

[Brian_Matthewson]

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers.   
"Hello?" 
"Mrs. Sanders, please." 
"Speaking." 
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at the hospital laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."   

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.   

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."   

"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.   

"Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay for these expensive tests one time."   

''Well, what am I supposed to do now? "   

"The folks at "Obama Health Care" recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.......... If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."   

[Brian Moffet]

"The folks at "Obama Health Care" recommend

This makes no sense as far as the joke goes.  Whoever wrote that joke needs to take lessons :-)

[Re-Vision]

I thought it was a pretty good update to an old joke. Hope you find your way home. LOL     BDC

[Rikugun]

So the writer took a little license, it still works. If you don't want to lambast the commander in chief you can replace ""Obama Health Care" with "US health care system" and it still works.  ;) 

[Re-Vision]

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel ,
"Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead
you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said,
... "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel,
this— is— the Promised Land."

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the
price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the
economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement
funds, etc ......... I called a Suicide Hotline.

I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call center in
Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I
could drive a truck......

BDC

[Rikugun]

That's another good one that never gets old.  :D

[Brian Moffet]

Political or not, pithiness is the best thing for a joke.  It would have scanned a lot better if it read

"Drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.......... If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

That way the punchline comes in fast and knocks people off the expected answer.  The way it was written it just sort of dragged out and wimped out...

(and if do want to talk insurance, my insurance doesn't even allow full dental xrays except once every 5 years. It's been that way for the last 3 presidents!)

[YellowJacket!]

I have to add my 2 cents about "healthcare reform".  IMHO, the term is a big misconception and puts the blame on the entire healthcare system when the problem is actually the insurance industry.  We healthcare providers are expected to and do much much more with much much less.  Yes, there are a few bad apples who take advantage of the system but the fundamental problem with the system today is not how we practice medicine but how the insurance industry reimburses for it...or doesn't.
We are forced to practice in a way that the insurance industry dictates, which severely limits our abilities to provide timely, accurate and cost effective care.  The ones profiting the most are not the doctors and hospitals, it is the ones that you pay a large premium to or a significant part of your paycheck to pay for the care that we providers give.  Unfortunately, the ones making the big profits are the ones you pay to pay us.
So, my friends, healthcare reform needs to start at the insurance industry. not healthcare.

Sorry for the rant.... I had to watch a doctor tell a patient in need of surgery that their insurance company - well a person sitting behind a desk that has never laid eyes or hands on the patient - will not cover their surgery due to a "preexisting condition".

The "joke" did give me a chuckle though.   :)

David

[Rikugun]

Thanks for your perspective YellowJacket but you're preaching to the choir as far as I'm concerned anyway. When I hear of the troubles with the health care system my thoughts go immediately to insurance and pharma companies.

[Re-Vision]

As well as a bought and paid for congress and the AMA which runs a century behind the times. Something is wrong when we pay more than any nation on earth and have far worse health care. Leaders that try to buy votes with free health care and then wonder why there is such turmoil. One thing about spending a lot more than you bring in, something fixing to give.      BDC

[fret not]

I've heard it said that we have the best govt. that money can buy.  Unfortunately WE can't afford it.

There have been some enlightening studies reported recently, one about how accumulation of money can cause changes in people's thinking causing them to be more concerned about the money than their fellow man, and leading to sociopathic tendencies.   The percentages of sociopaths in general society compared to "normal" folks is about 10% of the population, and they found a concentration of sociopaths and psycopaths (people who have no empathy for others) in the banking industry.  I guess this is why there was a recent article in the paper about the "double tracking" of folks trying refinance their underwater houses were having such a difficult time.  The "bank" told them to apply for the refinance, then denied the refinance because the homeowners weren't behind in their payments, and told them to skip paying for a while, then immediately filed foreclosure on them for not paying.  The banks somehow are guaranteed against losses from foreclosures and can resell the houses for whatever they can get and move on, caring not a whit for the homeowner.  They just want to be paid, and to hell with the country, economy, culture, morals, etc.

The ground is shifting under our feet and I wonder if money will have much value at all in time to come.  I have tools so I can do stuff, not much money.  You're never really sure when you will run out of time.