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One night at the Pub...

Started by zebulon, February 01, 2013, 02:32:45 PM

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zebulon

February 01, 2013, 02:32:45 PM
So I was at the bar the other night and heard three girls with an overabundance of flesh, talking at the bar.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland ?"
One of them screeched, "It's WALES , you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied: "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland ?"
And...that's the last thing I remember....

Pete (Zebulon)

Rikugun

#1
February 01, 2013, 09:27:20 PM
It's probably not PC to have a chuckle at the expense of the rubenesque but I did anyway...  :)
It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is then to persist in delusion, however satisfying or reassuring.  Carl Sagan

George R. Young

#2
February 01, 2013, 11:41:25 PM
The ambiguous compliment:

She's a whale of a girl.

George R. Young

#3
February 01, 2013, 11:46:56 PM
"How could such a fat woman get pregnant?" ejaculated Tom inconceivably.

and continuing with motorcycle flavour:

"My girlfriend fell off the back of the motorcycle" said Tom ruthlessly.

"The tread on the back is shot" said Tom tirelessly.

and one politically incorrect:

"I can't seem to find a boyfriend" lisped Tom fruitlessly.

Rick G

#4
February 03, 2013, 07:29:48 PM Last Edit: February 04, 2013, 03:29:19 PM by Rick G
Some years ago I was in a restaurant and observed 2 gentlemen , dressed in tweed, talking. I could not recognise the language , so , I asked them where they were from. It turns out that the were 2 Scots speaking French!!!   True story!!
Rick G
Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there in lurks the skid demon
'82.5 Yamaha XZ550 RJ  Vision,
'90 Suzuki VX800, 1990 Suzuki DR350.
'74  XL350   Honda , 77 XL350 Honda, 78 XL350 Honda, '82 XT 200 Yamaha, '67 Yamaha YG1TK, 80cc trail bike

Night Vision

#5
February 04, 2013, 02:52:54 PM
Quote from: Rick G on February 03, 2013, 07:29:48 PM
Some years ago I was in a restraint and observed 2 gentlemen....

what sort of a restraint? like a jail or a straight jacket type of restraint?
if it ain't worth doing it the hard way....
it ain't worth doing it at all - Man Law
;D


if it ain't broke..... take it apart and find out why


don't give up.... don't ever give up - Jimmy Valvano

Re-Vision

#6
February 04, 2013, 03:08:50 PM
I wondered too, likely restaurant. You seldom see gentlemen when being restrained.   BDC

Rick G

#7
February 04, 2013, 03:31:15 PM
I'll have to pay more attention to what the  spell checker comes up with! It was restaurant , indeed!
Rick G
Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there in lurks the skid demon
'82.5 Yamaha XZ550 RJ  Vision,
'90 Suzuki VX800, 1990 Suzuki DR350.
'74  XL350   Honda , 77 XL350 Honda, 78 XL350 Honda, '82 XT 200 Yamaha, '67 Yamaha YG1TK, 80cc trail bike

lexx790

#8
February 04, 2013, 05:22:39 PM
Another night in a pub.....

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked okay for a 57-year-old.

We drank a bit, and talked awhile, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.

I said, "No."

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

We went back to her place.

She flipped on the hall light and then shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"
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