Saturday funny...X 3

[Tiger]

;D
The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow up in America's Dairyland--Wisconsin-- for $200.00.
They bought the cow from Wisconsin and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it.
They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do.
They told the Vet what was happening.
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Wisconsin?"

The people were dumb founded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Wisconsin?"

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,
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.."My wife is from Wisconsin."  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D... ;)

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:D
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after Work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, Middle-aged man entered.
He was so striking that the Woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As All men will.)  ::)
Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, 
"I'll Do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one Condition"
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition Was. The man replied,

"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man's hand along with her home address.
She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....
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......."Clean my house."   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D... ;)

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;D Mexican Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico .

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning.......A delicacy!"

The cowboy said, "What the heck, bring me an order."

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said,

"These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor........
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,,,,,,, Sometimes the bull wins".  :o ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D... ;)