Dilemma

[Tiffanator]

Ok, I know for sure I'm going to get a very biased opinion on this question... but you guys are all my friends and probably some of you have faced this situation yourself. So here goes:
My family was never a motorcycling family... in fact... they are anti-motorcycle. My parents can't stand the fact that I ride one and my mother never lets an opportunity pass to make it known how much it scares her that I ride. Lately she has started ragging me to make a will... cause.. in her words "if I get run over by a semi on my bike she wants my stuff to be taken care of". I know I need to make a will anyway, and I plan to do it soon, it just seems like she's taking it as another opportunity to scare me away from the sport.
I'll get to the point. Christmas is coming up... and there would be no greater gift to her than for me to sell my bike and get out of street riding. So that's what I'm considering doing. Well... I'm thinking of wrapping up a for sale sign and telling her that if she wants I'll sell the bike and get either a dirt bike or a track bike... either way, I'll be off the street. This would be something that would be very hard for me, because I LOVE riding my bike, and limiting my riding to dirt or track would mean my time in the saddle would be cut down horribly and I would be one unhappy chicken.
I always tend to put the feelings of others before mine.. and it scares me to think of what it would put my friends and family through if something were to happen to me. They don't seem to understand that I could wreck my truck and die, chop my arm off with a skil saw and bleed to death, blow my shed and myself up with all the gas fumes I'm working with, or be robbed and shot since I live alone. My mom thinks that motorcycles = death and she lets me know that as often as possible.
So... what would you do? There was an article in the paper today about two kids who ride dirt bikes... and I kinda said.. maybe I'll get a dirtbike. She said she would be much happier with me on a dirt bike than a street bike... I said... well what about a track bike? She replied that she wouldn't like me racing. I said they don't race, just ride around a track and the novice classes have instructors. She says its everyone else she worries about. The only problem with riding track is that right now the 2 nearest tracks are 2.5 and 4 hours away, they are only on the weekends, and they are at least 100 bucks to enter and you are buying new tires every other session.  Although I wouldn't be paying for tag and insurance on a track bike.
Ok, I'm done with my vent. Just wanted to throw this out there and see what other people would do. So... if someone you really loved was kinda pressuring you to give it up, would you?

Tiff.

[inanecathode]

It goes without saying, accidents do happen. People do die riding bikes, more than driving cars.
But factor in this:
How easy is it to get killed driving a car like a dumbass?
How easy is it to get killed riding a bike like a dumbass?
Its not that motorcycles are inherently lethal. It's just it takes a special kind of person to ride them.
Me personally, i rationalize it like this: If you wear safety gear, ride cautiously, and stay VERY aware of your surroundings, your chances of dieing whilst riding is just BARELY above that of driving a car.
If it were me tiff, i'd not worry about her hassling me about it. Motorcycle riding for me is more than just something to do, its part of what makes me who i am. If you can get the same kicks from track riding/dirt riding and cant deal with the parental unit, than by all means go dirt.
Motorcycles to some people are just scary. Either because they're unaware of the contributing factors to wrecks, or they're just unfamiliar. They're so drastically different than cars, basically an engine with wheels. That's scary to some people. To me at least, thats the appeal. No vinyl dashboards, seals, windows, interiors, climate controls. Its just you and your machine, and after riding for a few seconds even that line disappears.
I can't see anyone who loves to ride just giving it up and being happy. Me, i'd be miserable. Every nice summer day i'd be thinking about being out there on my bike, knowing what i gave up, just to assuage someones probably irrational fear.
It's really up to you, but heres my advice:
If motorcycles on average are dangerous. Does that make them dangerous for you? Since when were you average? Just remember what the statistics are based on, then picture Johnny Squid on his gixxer with shorts on, and remember thats the average.

PS
My personal opinion, the majority of people killed are killed by riding outside their limits. Either on too big of a bike (theres a difference between driving a car with 400 horsepower and a bike with 150) or too far beyond their capabilities. Leaving the road, or striking another vehicle, thats how you get killed.

PPS
Your mom is telling you to get a will because you'll get squished? Harsh :o

[Brian Moffet]

I would say "No."  It's your life to enjoy, not your mothers.

Brian

[Kevin]

Tiff, I'm 49 years old been riding since the fourth grade, My mother is a retired RN. All five of her grand kids ride street and dirt bikes, does she worry? Heck yes! So do I when either of my kids takes off on their bike.   Wear the gear, don't drink and drive. If motorcycles are your worst habit, Mom should count her blessings.         

[Tiffanator]

Thanks guys. Inane.. I'm with you.. knowing what its like to be on two wheels I don't think I could do without it, and being on the street is so awesome cause I can just hop on the bike anytime I want and ride. I don't have to load it into the back of the truck and find some open land to ride on or drive to a track and pay.
It doesn't matter what I use to compare dangers... she can't be convinced. And it really doesn't help that EVERYONE around us is anti-bike too... so she tells them and they give me "The Look" and are like... you better be careful. They then proceed to tell me about someone they know/knew who was terribly hurt/killed on a bike.  I just want to say... I think I'm going to do a random stoppie in front of a semi... just to see how good his brakes are. DUH.
I would be very unhappy to give up biking, there aren't a whole lot of things that make me truly happy in life... the freedom of being on a bike and the feeling of leaning it over in a curve is one of those things. I'm just on a high after a really good ride, even if its just from the house to work.
With all of that said... I realize its my life and I live how I choose... but my family is a huge part of my life, and I keep asking if its really fair for me to worry them just to get my thrill on a bike.
Brian... that is very, very true. Could you please call my mother and tell her that?  ;D
Kevin... I do wear my gear, don't drink and am very cautious on the bike... and mom knows that. And yes, as amazing as it is... biking is my worst habit... well... maybe sniffing gas and acetone fumes has surpassed it.  Mom tells me over and over... its not me she worries about... its everyone else.
Thanks
Tiff.

[inanecathode]

I'd say do what makes you happy. You'll never regret having the time of your life.
Plus, you can be the crazy family member everyone always lowers their voice about!
"Oh.. thats tiff.. (psst, she rides those motorized cycles i hear!)"

Edit:
There'll be a day, probably in our lifetimes, where riding motorcycles, working on them wont happen anymore. I'd say enjoy our carburetors whilst they're still legal!

[kwells]

hmmm
in true biker style...I'd do a burnout in the shape of a smiley face in the street and then wave.

Do what you love to do.  Get a good insurance plan.  No regrets.

Good luck.   

[h2olawyer]

This is one of those "I'm an adult" situations.  You need to do what makes you feel best.  If you always feel guilty when riding, then you cannot give the riding all your attention - which is what's required for truly safe riding.  If you give it up, you will be missing a significant part of what  makes you you.  After all, your parents probably can't love you more than they already do & they won't love you less if you continue to ride.

Have your mother take the beginning riding class - at least the classroom portion & then watch the riding training.  Maybe she will learn something & her fears will diminish a bit.  It's worth a try.

As for a will, it is a good idea for everyone to have one.  They don't have to be too elaborate.  Anything in your own handwriting that makes your wishes known, is signed & dated is a valid "holographic will" recognized by many jurisdictions.  You can get an inexpensive will kit & do one on your computer.  That one will need to be signed & witnessed & likely notarized as well.  These are assmuing you don't have a complex estate to dispose of.  If you feel better about it, a young lawyer in your area can probably draft one for you for very little $$.  I spent my first few years in practice drafting inexpensive, simple wills.  It's mostly tailoring a prewritten form to your specific circumstances.  A relatively quick interview, a second visit to read it & make sure it does what you want it to & an informal signing ceremony.

Good luck with your decision - I know it's not easy.  I hope you keep riding, though!

H₂O

[Rick G]

If you watch TV, you will see that people are injured and killed everyday in automobiles. No one gets out of this life alive, enjoy it while you can. Ive ridden for 46 years and  Yes,   I've been spit off a couple of times and continued riding. A dear friend who rode on the street and raced  as well, died in his pickup truck.  Anoughter died in his own bed.  Both enjoyed their time on a bike. 

[kwells]

well said rick

+1

[Tiger]

 :) The devil's advocate says...This is one of those..."Can't win for loosing" ... "Damned if I do & damned if I don't" situation's that only you can decide. Asking a motorcycle forum if you should continue is like asking the pope if there is a Christ.......Your going to get a resounding YES ::) ;D :D :D :D :D :D

I started riding when I was sixteen and spent most of the first three year's between saddle and pavement :o and bare the scar's to prove my juvinile stupidity/male bravado. Eventually I clued in that there was more to this than the pain of having gravel washed/scrubed from your skin by an irrate, anti-biking nurse at the local hospital. She had a son who had just started riding and she was worried shitless and took her frustration out on the young buck's like me!!!!

When I got married and my first born was presented to me, the bike era ended...Like many of us go thru'...bye-bye toy's, hello parenthood and all the worries of watching your kid's grow up. All the trials and tribulation's that make us wiser as we get older ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D.... ;)

As a parent, we have earned the right to be concerned about the product concieved from our loin's. However, it doesn't give us the right to dictate or try and run the live's of our children as they turn into adulthood. Your in a, seen thru' mom's eye's, a male area...not for wee girlie's. We all know that there are now a huge amount of female rider's, not just pillion's in the motorcycle fraternity.

Pop your mom in the car and take her to a couple of bike show's/track meet's/off road meet's/rider training...introduce her, gently, to the biking fraternity. Help her understand and just maybe she will come to understand who YOU are... ;)

One day parenthood may be part of your life and biking may well be put on the back burner...but until that day, enjoy your young life girl. Get out and have some fun... 8)

            8).......TIGER....... 8)

[Brian_Matthewson]

Life is too short to compromise on doing what you really enjoy. I took off 15 years from motorcycling while the kids were young, mortgages, etc...that's 15 riding years I'll never get back.
I have a host of people telling me that I'm nuts to be riding at my age (67) but I intend to ride as long as I can...what do they know?
Brian

[Tiffanator]

Hey guys... thanks so much. Tiger... yeah, I knew I would get a really biased opinion on a motorcycling forum... but only you guys can understand the love for bikes that bikers have. I just needed to hear from other people what I already knew... its MY life and I can choose to live it how I want to. You've all given me some great ideas about educating her about bikes. I'm going to try to sit down and explain to her how much biking means to me and how happy it makes me. Maybe when she realizes that she'll ease up ragging me about it.
H2O... yeah, I'm going to make a will... it was never a big deal cause I lived at home and only had a truck. Now I have a house of my own and a truck and bikes and a boat, so its more important that everything is taken care of. Being the smart alec that I am I told mom I was just going to leave everything to my cat. She wasn't down with that, even as a joke. I told her the most important thing is that my cat is taken care of.. she's my best buddy.
Thanks everyone.. you've all put my mind at ease about it. I just need to show her that motorcycles do not mean certain death. Hey... I could take up skydiving instead.
Tiff.

[tben]

Hey Tiff,
I know how you feel, my mom always gets on me about riding. I really like H20 idea though. It seems like a great idea for her to get a little education on the truth about motorcycle safety and not all the horrific rumors that mothers tell each other.

Hope things work out between you two,

Ben

[Night Vision]

do like I did..... put your (70 year old) mother on the back of your motorcycle, and get going about 100 or as fast as you possibly can....

it'll either kill her or thrill her.... ;D mine was thrilled.

I'll tell ya, there's only three ways in life I'd prefer to check out.....

one is while skiing, one is while fishing, and you can guess the other  ;)

[louthepou]

I'm 37, been with my wife since I turned 18, we have sex, and my mom probably still thinks I'mm too young to have a girlfriend.

My point is, she also can't accept the fact that I will die before I turn 20 on my motorcycle. (Note: I am 37 now).

I love my mom, but also I had to accept long ago that there would be things in my life that I would do no matter what, and that my mom would have to live with. (Bikes and having a girlfriend).

Intimate-Lou

[YellowJacket!]

As a parent myself, I can understand where your parents are coming from.  BUT...I worry just as much about my kids being in or driving cars.  Statistically, the numbers are stacked against teens...worse than adult motorcycle riders.  I have also had the displaeaure of an early morning phone call from my step daughter telling me that she was in a wreck. (every parents worst nightmare).
As a teenager, I went against my parents and squerriled away enough cash to buy myself a Suzu DS125.  I loved it, rode the heck out of it and wrecked it.  Both my parents were adamantly against it and when they found out about the ision, it started all over again...23 years later.  BUT... I took my mother for a ride on it for her birthday and she loved it.  She wants my dad to get a bike too.  I just can't picture my parents on  a motorcycle though.
My wife, well lets just say that she is not happy at all.  She, no matter what, will not get on the bike.  Not even if it is chained down and not moving, just so I can take a picture.  She just won't do it.  (I keep threatening to find myself a girl that will ride it with me *interested??*)  ;D  She was against it from the start.  The only reason I have it is becuase it didn't cost me anything.  I just haven't said how much it cost to get it running.  :o  I really think she never thought I'd be able to ride it which is why she let me restore it.  I think I developed a tenacity for it like you did.  ;D
I agree with what a lot of te other guys said.  Nobody ever makes it out of this world alive and we all have to die sometime.  It could be in a car, truck, avalanche, building exp;losion, terrorist attack...anything.  When God is ready for me, thats when I'm going.

David

[Brian Moffet]

When God is ready for me, thats when I'm going.

"I plan on living forever, or die trying."

Villa Restal  -- Blake's Seven.

[arfa vmax]

hi tiff  i started riding on the road at 16 on a suzuki ap50,i passed my bike test at 17.none of my familly had anything to do with bikes and we came from a small village.For my 17th birtday my mum paid for some driving lessons to get me to take my car test,but i had no interest and failed it.I had many bikes up to the age of 21 when i became a father for the first time.finally passed my car test but still had a bike for myself.After the birth of my second child and a shortage of money my bikeing days seamed over,much to the relief of my mother.I had several spills,nothing serious and all but 1 my fault,which was when a school boy ran out from behind a van straight infront of me with a pillion on a 150 mz.He got a broken arm if i had been in a car he may be dead.Now aged 41 i hope to be back on a bike in the summer and i know the greif i am going to get and i guess i will feel guilty about it but you have to live your own life.An ex's father rode bikes and he died at 54 from smoking.My partener is a care worker and she visits ill people in their homes,some are only in their 30's and have things like ms.Ride safe and watch out for the idiots

[Rick G]

You know I had it easy. I left home at 18 and started riding shortly there after , just for cheap transportation . There was no one to tell me "as long as your under my roof" . I quit riding in 1980 , mostly as a result of changing carriers. Started again  16 years later . Worst decision I ever made , wasting those 16 years. Its why I say " They will have to pry my cold, dead, hands off of the grips"  I have time to make up!!! :D :D :D :D